13 Hot Ways to Keep The Romance Alive in Marriage
Mitchell Qualls says, “Romance in marriage is a lifestyle,” and I couldn’t agree more!
Maybe it is because people are opinionated to think that romance and all the butterfly feelings wane after a while. Perhaps, there is an element of truth in it, but I am someone who always makes a conscious decision not to live life according to people’s opinions. It doesn’t even matter if it’s a majority vote.
Looking at the concept of how to keep the romance alive in marriage from a biblical perspective, I see no reason for it to fade. If Christ says that married couples should reflect His love for the church in how they love each other, then this is a forever thing. Plus, Christ continuously woos us now and then, which means romance shouldn’t be dead in a Christian marriage.
Building and maintaining romance in marriage is a conscious effort for both parties. It takes two to tango, and so you should take steps toward building a structure on which your marital romance can grow.
I’ll always say that if you want something from someone, give it first. One of the things I’ve seen that constantly weakens the romantic bond between couples is the fear of being vulnerable. “I don’t want to show him how much I care,” or “I don’t want her to know how affected I am”—these thoughts are part of what reduces romance in any relationship, including your marriage.
In this post, I will discuss how to keep the romance alive in marriage in detail and hope you leave with valuable lessons that will strengthen your martial bond.
- Related posts:
- Easy Ways to Build and Maintain Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage
- 5 Unique Reasons Communication in Marriage is Important
- 5 Easy Ways To Make Your Partner Feel Deeply Loved
What is romance in marriage?
There is no exact definition for romance in marriage because the concept of romance differs from one person to another, which is why we have several love languages; even besides the usual five, there are other unique love languages worldwide.
Romance in marriage is all about showing your spouse how much you care. It could be as simple as giving a hug when they most need it, buying a book you saw at the library because you think they would love to read it, or doing some chores at home because you know that it will relieve them of some stress.
In other words, you could say that romance in marriage is all about actively expressing your partner’s love language to them. So, it’s not about you, but it’s about them, which means that romance in marriage is a selfless act to reassure your spouse of how much you love them constantly and how much you care about them.
Importance of romance in marriage
There are several reasons why romance in marriage is important, and it can go as far as preserving your marriage, teaching your children the right way to love, and having a successful marriage.
I’ve listed the importance below:
- To enhance your marriage
- It shows how much you care
- It reassures and reaffirms your love
- It makes your relationship stronger
- It is crucial to a successful marriage
- It sustains your marriage
- It makes you and your spouse happy
- It gives you happy kids.
How to keep the romance alive in marriage
Building romance in marriage is easy because all you have to do is use the same love language your partner understands.
Set the right foundation
The right foundation for every marriage is God. If your relationship with your spouse is not centered on God, it will become normal for your love to fizzle out, but if it is on God, He will give it the lasting energy to make your love with your spouse last.
Spiritual intimacy
Spiritual intimacy with your spouse is crucial for you to have a successful marriage. In marriage, romance should emanate from something more profound than the physical.
When you and your spouse seek God together, it automatically makes you closer to each other.
Know your spouse’s romantic needs
Understanding your spouse’s romantic need helps you do the right things.
You won’t be making actions based on guesses, but you will know what touches his heart.
Stay updated about your spouse
What goes on in his life? What makes him happy or sad?
Be curious about the happenings in his life, at work, with friends, and even with family.
Ask questions that show concern and be attentive to his countenance.
Pursue personal happiness
You can’t give what you don’t have. To truly make your spouse happy, you also have to be happy, content with yourself, confident, and secure in your love for each other.
Pursue things that make you happy and share this happiness with your spouse.
Schedule dates
With the busy schedules and child training going on, it is easy to lose track of each other. Scheduling date nights isn’t out of line, which means that you are setting it as a priority and are willing to make time to be with your spouse.
Pay attention
Be attentive to his pains.
Sometimes, we are there but not really there, which can make you miss important events and unusual reactions.
When you’re with your spouse, be there fully. Never make the mistake of thinking you should be somewhere else whenever you are with him.
Be more
As you get to know each other deeply, become more committed, supporting, and loving. It is not the time to be indifferent or relax in your efforts.
The more you get to know each other, the more years you spend together, and the more invested you should be.
Set your priorities
Romance in marriage isn’t all sex; making sure your spouse comes first can be the most romantic thing to them.
Tell your spouse how much they mean to you, express the value they hold in your life, and how you will always put them first.
Arrange surprises
Surprise your spouse on special days and not-so-special days. Surprising your spouse means you care about his happiness and would do things for him without asking.
Make efforts
Make deliberate efforts to build and sustain romance in your marriage, no matter how little. These efforts are seen and appreciated.
Sexual intimacy
Initiate sexual conversations, be creative with your sexual life and find ways to grow more intimate with your spouse sexually.
Flirt with each other, and do things to spice up your sex life.
Sex is a crucial part of romance and one of the keys to a successful marriage.
Reminisce
Remind yourselves of how much you were once in love. Relive memories together and even recreate some unforgettable moments. This will help to keep the love alive and maintain romance in your marriage.
Romantic ideas for your husband
If you are at a loss for romantic ideas and where to start, here’s a little something to guide you:
- Write love notes and leave them where he’ll easily see them.
- Deliberately say some words of affirmation daily.
- Offer to help out with the chores sometimes.
- Appreciate efforts sincerely.
- Flirt during office hours.
- Buy a surprise gift on random days.
- Excuse yourself from the laptop just to spend time with your spouse.
- Send random goofy pictures, even at work.
- Deliver lunch boxes randomly to his workplace.
- Intentionally do things that make him laugh.
- Make excuses to touch.
- Listen.
- Set up random, surprise dates.
- Seduce.
Let’s Recap!
The importance of romance in marriage is often underrated, and as you’ve read in the post, it can affect how your child views love and marriage. Your marriage lays a foundation in their heart of how love should be.
Building romance and maintaining it are two different things, and you will need intentionality to maintain romance in your marriage. Think of it as an investment with high returns.
Come up with romantic ideas for your husband as often as you can. It doesn’t have to be extravagant and might be as simple as making his favorite breakfast or helping him fold his clothes.
I guarantee that introducing a bit of romance will reignite the sparks and make you feel young and happier again.
On a scale of 1-10, how important do you think romance is in any marriage? Do you have any romantic ideas you can share? Let me know in the comments below.
READ ALSO: How to reconnect with your spouse in 10 easy steps
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