Money and Marriage | How to be Financially Happy with Your Spouse

Money and Marriage | How to be Financially Happy with Your Spouse
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Did you know that it is impossible to avoid money issues in marriage? 

Every couple needs to know how to handle common financial issues through effective communication and understanding regarding money and marriage. Financial conflicts aren’t necessarily the issue, but the deal-breaker is the lack of communication skills between couples to navigate the conflicts and find common ground effectively.

Sadly, financial conflicts can lead to other marital issues like physical abuse, loss of trust, and hate. “Irreconcilable differences” can be many things, including the inability to see eye-to-eye on money matters.

“Money can’t buy happiness.” 

While this may be true, balancing money and marriage will definitely give you peace of mind. There are several ways to achieve financial happiness, and I will be sharing the few I know with you.

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Common money issues in marriage

Are you aware that money is one of the major things couples fight about? There are several issues about money that result in couple conflicts. These include:

  • Spending habits
  • Debt
  • Income differences
  • Unemployment
  • Lifestyle
  • Extended family demands

There are several other money issues that you will encounter in marriage. What is more important is your maturity, honesty, and understanding.

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Money and Marriage Tips

I understand that we can’t all do it the same way regarding marriage. We get married to different people with different upbringings and personalities, so it is expected that some of these tips might not work for everyone, but you can use them as a guideline to create yours. 

Discuss Money Mindsets

Money mindset basically means your attitude and disposition to money. One can see it in how you spend and view money. As sometimes said, money can be a messenger or master, depending on how you view it.

Money mindset differs from person to person due to upbringing, personality, friends, and environment. In a relationship, your partner may not have the same money mindset as you, which means you will probably not be on the same page regarding certain financial decisions.

Before tying the knot or immediately after, you need to discuss your money mindset with your partner. It can be changed if your partner has a wrong money mindset, although it might be difficult and take time. 

You can start by changing your environment and friends, making commitments, and having an accountability partner. Read more financial books to develop a healthy financial mindset and stop any unhealthy comparisons.

It can also help to be part of a community.

Financial Honesty

Nothing kills a marriage faster than financial dishonesty. This is when a partner is not honest about their financial situations like debts and responsibilities. A partner can even be dishonest about their spending habits, expenses, and loans.

It is not uncommon to see a spouse being notified of loans only when the deadline is due. 

The trust lost due to financial dishonesty can hardly be regained, if ever! No matter the extent of your financial situation, it is best to be honest about it with your spouse, and you both can find a way around it through shared financial goals, even if it means going to a financial advisor.

Be Frugal with the Wedding

Couples, especially young couples, often want to have a lavish wedding, but they end up being neck-deep in debt. It is wrong to start your marital journey with more debts than you can repay. 

Couple hugging under the sand
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There are several ways you can cut down costs and still achieve that fairytale wedding you desire. Check these tips out:

  • Create a budget: I love having a budget because it keeps my spending in check and lets me know what’s not really necessary. In other words, having a budget prevents you from overspending.
  • Reduce your guest list: As much as you want all the people you know and love to be present, limiting the number of guests is more advisable. Many guests = huge cost. 
  • Ask for assistance: From your groups of friends, there should be at least one person who can render service for you either at a discount or completely free. You might have friends, acquaintances, or colleagues who are into photography, catering, baking, and decorating. 
  • Have a weekday wedding: I know you might want to select a day where everyone will be available and not held up with their weekly schedule, but a weekday wedding saves you extra bucks on bookings. You get charged less if you book an event center or hire caterers on a weekday.
  • Skip the night party: You can skip the after-party when the parents are gone for a private dinner with your spouse. An after-party means extra costs on food, drinks, decor, lighting, etc. All these are unnecessary and can be avoided.

Create a budget

A budget is a plan you put in place for a specific period that helps you decide how to spend your income, usually after deducting taxes. Budgeting is crucial because it gives you financial security, keeps your spending in check, and makes you financially accountable.

Budgeting also involves allocating money for savings and investments, and this helps you create a healthy money habit that can help you save as you earn. It encompasses your needs, wants, and savings, so your entire financial life is covered.

It can get a bit confusing when your lifestyle suddenly changes, and you are not just caring about your personal financial life but that of your family as well. Budgeting makes sure you are abreast of everything and gives you the proper handling of your finances.

Have Savings

Savings are a must for your marriage as the chances of emergencies are doubled. There might be a health emergency, house emergency, or other situations that arise and need quick fixing. 

Usually, it is advisable to save at least 10% of your monthly income for emergencies. Also, you should make provisions for insurance like health, car, and life insurance, and these are probably the most important insurance you need to have.

So, make sure all your family members are insured.

Decide on Responsibilities

Who pays for what?

From daily needs to investments and “big moves,” you need to decide who is responsible for each. Usually, the person who earns more is responsible for big moves like investments and business needs.

When your family expands, you also want to be clear on who pays the school fees, buys clothes, or takes care of the groceries. It makes your finances easy to track, as little as this might seem. 

Update legal documents

Most women usually update their names from their maiden names to their husbands’ names when they get married. Even if you aren’t in this category, there are legal changes that you still need to make the system aware of the change in your status, such as your bank accounts, insurance, and possibly your last will. 

You might want to change your beneficiary to your spouse and include them in your will. This means you don’t have to worry about your money getting stuck somewhere because the system can’t reconcile your past and present status.

Changes in legal documents after getting married might also be location-specific, so make sure to do the necessary research and ask questions.

Decide on accounts

You might want a joint account, separate accounts, or both.

Both spouses put all their finances in one credit account for joint accounts. This is actually advantageous, especially when keeping track of finances. And you can easily track spending and income since it’s in a single account. It also becomes easier to budget, but it can result in conflicts because it gets difficult to keep track of how much is yours and how much isn’t.

Having separate accounts means that you are single-handedly responsible for your money while taking care of some family responsibilities. Some couples prefer to have individual accounts as it gives them financial freedom, and a person’s decision will have no direct impact on the other. However, the disadvantage is that it gets easy to be financially irresponsible, which will definitely affect the family.

Lastly, you can decide to have separate accounts but keep a joint account for family expenses. This ensures financial freedom while keeping each spouse financially accountable to each other.

Discuss retirement and investments

These are long-term financial goals you need to discuss in marriage, goals like long-term savings, and retirement opportunities you might want to pursue. This can involve establishing a personal business or a long-term investment plan.

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Have aligned financial goals 

Make sure to have your financial goals aligned. They may not always align at the beginning, but you can always make a compromise with your partner. How much can you save in a month? What are the needs and wants? What are the things that count as emergencies? What kind of risk-level investments can you make?

These questions and more are things you need to consider when making a financial goal. You need to affix a timeline and plan to achieve your financial goals. Financial goals are important because they give you direction.

Review regularly 

You have to review your finances regularly and create a strategy to have healthy financial discussions. You can also develop a plan to resolve financial conflicts when they arise. If you can manage your money, you can avoid unnecessary financial disputes in your marriage.

What does the Bible say about money?

The Bible has a lot to say about money, but I’ll select the ones that have to do with money management in the home.

  • Pay debts (Psalms 37:21)

“The wicked borrows and does not repay, But the righteous shows mercy and gives.”

Psalms 37:21 NKJV

  • Plan ahead (Proverbs 13:16)

“Every prudent man acts with knowledge, But a fool lays open his folly.”

Proverbs 13:16 NKJV

  • Budget (Luke 14:28)

“For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it—”

Luke 14:28 NKJV

  • Save (Proverbs 30:24-25)

“There are four things which are little on the earth, But they are exceedingly wise: The ants are a people not strong, Yet they prepare their food in the summer;”

Proverbs 30:24‭-‬25 NKJV 

Money in marriage
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Let’s Recap

Having a financially happy marriage is important because, to a large extent, financial happiness can be the stabilizing factor in your marriage. 

These tips are considered important and will help you manage your income more effectively. Creating a budget and financial honesty are the top leading actions that can change your financial state. These are closely followed by having aligned financial goals and deciding on responsibilities.

Handling money and marriage also gets easier over time when you are already used to your budgeting system and are open to each other.

Which of these tips do you think will be the most helpful to you? Let me know in the comments section below.

READ ALSO: Easy steps to build and maintain spiritual intimacy in marriage

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